A Startle, a Flashback, and a Deeper Understanding of Reactive Dogs

The water hit my skin before I even realized what had happened.

I was standing at the stove, distracted for just a second, when hot water splashed up onto my arm. It wasn’t a serious burn—but my body didn’t know that yet.

My heart raced. My breath caught.

And suddenly, I wasn’t in my kitchen anymore.

In an instant, I was 14 years old again—walking door to door collecting paper route payments. I remember the weight of the coin pouch at my side. I remember the knock. And I remember the moment a grown drunk man attacked me.

That memory didn’t arrive gently.

It arrived like a lightning strike.

What surprised me most wasn’t the memory itself—it was how fast my body went there. I wasn’t thinking about the past. I wasn’t choosing to remember it. My nervous system made the decision for me.

And that moment reminded me of something I see every day in my work with dogs.

Triggers Aren’t About “Bad Behavior”

We don’t know exactly what dogs think when they’re triggered—but we do know how learning, memory, and the nervous system work.

A dog who barks and lunges at the end of a leash…

A dog who explodes when another dog appears…

A dog who snaps, freezes, growls, or shuts down…

These reactions often aren’t about the situation in front of them.

They’re about something that happened before.

That dog may have been attacked. Overwhelmed. Cornered. Repeatedly scared. Or exposed to stress they couldn’t escape. Just like my body reacted before my mind could catch up, a dog’s nervous system can take over long before conscious choice is possible.

When we label these dogs as “stubborn,” “dominant,” or “bad,” we miss the truth.

Reactive behavior comes from fear, startle, or survival.

The Brain Can’t Learn in Fight or Flight

When dogs react, they are operating from the fight-or-flight part of the brain. This is the survival system—the same one that hijacked me in my kitchen.

In that state:

Dogs cannot process instructions

They cannot “just listen”

They cannot learn new skills

They can only react.

And just like telling a terrified human to “calm down” doesn’t work, correcting or punishing a dog in this state only adds more fear to the system.

The Good News: Healing Is Possible

Here’s the part that matters most.

Dogs can learn when they are supported properly.

When we work with dogs below threshold—in a relaxed, thinking brain state—we can use carefully designed learning games to build confidence, predictability, and safety. From there, we can slowly and intentionally expose them to very low-intensity versions of their triggers, always staying within what they can handle.

Over time:

Thresholds increase

Triggers lose their emotional charge

Reactions become smaller, slower, or disappear

This isn’t about forcing bravery.

It’s about teaching safety.

Just like healing for humans, it happens through patience, repetition, and compassion.

Compassion Changes Everything

That moment in my kitchen reminded me:

Reactions are rarely about the present moment alone.

When we meet our dogs with understanding instead of judgment, everything shifts. We stop asking, “What’s wrong with this dog?” and start asking, “What happened to them—and how can I help?”

And that’s where real change begins.

If your dog is struggling with triggers, reactivity, or fear-based behaviors, you don’t have to navigate it alone.

Call, text, or email today to schedule your free phone consultation.

Rachael Haddan

Behav-N-Dogs Pet Services LLC

📞 719-334-8111

📧 behavingdogstraining@gmail.com

Your dog deserves understanding—and you don’t have to do this alone. 🐾